Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Secret Ballot? Hah!

I'm writing this post on October 12th, right after filling out my mail-in ballot and before sending it off.  I'm scheduling it to be published after the polls close on Election Day, for your amusement and horror.

This last week I read an excellent article in The New Yorker about the history of voting in America.  I was surprised, and you may be as well.  Things that we take for granted, like the virtue of a secret ballot, heck, even the idea that a "ballot" is a piece of paper, evolved much later than I had assumed.  Even if you aren't a political junkie, it's worth a read.

Without further ado, this is what I believe.

  • SECRET MUSLIM for President!
  • WAR SUPPORTER for Congress!
  • Alquist for State Senate.
  • Beall for Assembly.  (Gotta love gerrymandering!  Silicon Valley would elect Democrats anyways, but these folks are all safe forever.)
  • Liroff for Superior Court.
  • No choice on West Valley-Mission Community College District Trustee Area 1.  (I'm unqualified to choose!)
  • Constantin for West Valley-Mission Community College District Trustee Area 3.  (I chose not to pick a second.  I unthinkingly support incumbents under the assumption that they know what they are doing!)
  • Gordon for Campbell Union High School District Member.  (I chose not to pick a second; see above.)
  • YES on the $10 billion boondogle!
  • NO on treating animals humanely!
  • NO on building hospitals for sick children!
  • NO on involving parents in the lives of their children!
  • YES on putting criminals back on the streets!
  • NO on law and order!
  • NO on green energy!
  • NO on family values!
  • NO on victim's rights!
  • NO on renewable energy!
  • YES on the power grab!
  • NO on supporting veterans!
  • YES on hospital seismic safety.  (Okay, this one's hard to make fun of.  Sorry.)
  • YES on the local transit boondoggle!
  • YES on thoughtless affirmation!
  • NO on qualified review!
  • YES on cutting taxes!
  • YES on cutting taxes again!  I don't understand why this is two measures!
  • YES on expanding government-funded construction!
  • YES on the pernicious creeping influence of corporate money over civic policy!
  • YES on tax increase!

1 comment:

  1. Haha, I don't know if I've laughed so hard from a blog post in a while...good one!